Treat Yourself Right, Darling.

“Let today be the day you love yourself enough to no longer just dream of a better life; let it be the day you act upon it” Steve Maraboli.

How many times have you put yourself down today? Said things to yourself either internally or out loud that you would never dream of saying to someone else?

“This dress looks terrible”

“I’m so fat”

“My make up is horrible”

“I don’t like my hair this colour”

You really need to stop being your own worst enemy and practice some self love. Once you learn to fully love and appreciate yourself, you gain the capacity to love others much more fully.

How will you ever know your worth, if you don’t love yourself first? How will you recognise when others treat you badly if you already do the same to yourself?

So look  in the mirror every morning and tell yourself that you love being you!! Surround yourself with the people who love you and learn from them.

Stop hating yourself for everything that you are not and begin to love yourself for everything that you are.

 

 

Advertisements

This is where it get’s really personal.

Recently, my friends will have noticed that I have developed, or grown into my positive mindset. I have been working really hard on coaching myself to see the best in every person and every situation. It hasn’t been difficult. I made a decision that I would simply refuse any type of negative thoughts to enter my mind. It’s given me confidence, I have found a new ‘no matter what’ attitude.

I am not naive enough to think that I am going to get everything right every time. However, if I believe that it’s possible and do exactly what I said I was going to do, then I will know I gave that situation my all and so it IS a positive result, even if it wasn’t the one I had planned.

Somehow, this morning, while reading an amazingly inspiring book, I started to have massive doubt. I started to wonder if i was ‘acting’ rather than feeling. What if I was just telling myself I was enjoying life, what if I was masking my feelings with the idea of being a better person? What if I am not the strong person I want to become and thought I was becoming? Feeling anxious and panicked, I reverted to my old ways of escapism and I cried.

I decided to put my trust in my friend, Jen. She won’t mind me using her name (i hope). Jen is 100% the most positive person I know. Even though she’s had a tougher ride than some of us, she always manages to find the silver lining and that is my favourite thing about her. So I sought out some of that positivity which she gives away so freely.

Jen’s response “Glad to see you’re actually still human.”

Instantly, my mood brightened – aided by a hilarious video of Jen. She made sense. Of course I am going to doubt myself, of course I am going to have a less than perfect day sometimes but it’s how you deal with it that truly makes your character.

I read a quote once – I am sure it was Jean Vanier in the Broken Body, although I cannot seem to locate the quote anywhere – that said something to the effect of “The one you set out to heal ends up healing you.”

When I met Jen, I introduced her to my business and she could see my vision and see exactly what we could create together and so she jumped in. In my head, I saw what I could share with Jen, what I could provide her with from having her in my business, I thought of all the amazing, lovely, money can’t buy things I could do for her. I was yet to learn what she could do for me. She has been my business partner, life coach, room mate, drinking buddy, the one I’ve sat up with until the small hours playing with snapchat filters, my personal comedian and most of all my friend. She has changed me! I am eternally grateful to our company and the universe for allowing mine and Jen’s paths to cross.

I made a promise to myself at the beginning of the year, that going forward, I would be prepared to be vulnerable and step away from the smoke and mirrors that social media platforms provide. People only post their best selves on social media, you never know what’s going on behind the camera. So herein lies the purpose of this blog post, well that and the chance to big up my awesome friend, who just over a year ago, I didn’t even know existed.

The book I was reading, that I mentioned above is called “The Universe Has Your Back” by Gabrielle Bernstein.

How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything.

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

 

I first heard this sentiment from one of my mentors. In honesty, a lot of my inspiration to put pen to paper, or rather fingers to buttons (how times have changed!!) comes from my amazing mentors who inspire me greatly on a daily basis.

These nine words were a major light bulb moment for me. As cliche as that sounds, the light went on and the lift finally reached the penthouse.

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

Think about it. How you control any situation in your life, good or bad, is most likely how you manage every situation in your life. Hearing this, just two weeks ago has caused a massive shift in the way I think about thinks, the way I approach people and the way I show up when nobody is watching.

We’ve all heard the saying “Every action has a consequence”. So what are the consequences of not being your best self in every situation?

In the past, for me, I chose escapism in situations that I felt I couldn’t handle.Whether this be prescription drugs, or alcohol or in some cases fleeing – literally escaping. When things happened in my life that I chose not to understand or that I felt I couldn’t handle, I found a way to sound the sirens in my subconscious mind and find a way out. I wasn’t even aware that this was the type of person that I was. They say tough times show tough people, well I can safely say, I didn’t show up the day that was taught at school because I felt that the only thing tough about me, was my luck.

On hearing these nine little words, I realised that in order to feel something different and to see different results in my business and personal life, I needed to be conscious of how I chose to present myself. Conscious of the message I was putting out into the world, conscious of my brand. I needed to be different.

  

Think about it. Use me as an example.

How did I feel when I woke up in the mornings?  Tired, annoyed, wanting to pull the covers over my head and ignore the world.

How did I perform in my business?  Sluggish, half hearted.

How did I approach a challenge? Do I have to? What’s in it for me?

What were my friendships like?  Strained, needed effort.

 

How hard did I work in the gym?  Slow, weak, would rather be in my bed.

Do you see the pattern? I am not giving these answers for effect, these are as close to the truth as I can remember. I was literally dubbed “Lazy Lynn” by one of my good friends.

How do I feel when I wake up in the mornings? Energized, excited, ready.

How do I perform in my business?   With passion, tenacity and respect.

How do I approach a challenge?  If I can believe it, I WILL achieve it.

What are my friendships like?  Loving, fun, growing.

 

How hard do I work in the gym? I have visualised the results I want and I will keep going until I achieve them.

There’s that pattern again.

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

 

 
 

What Do You Fear Most?

I want you to really think about this question for a minute.

What is your greatest fear?

For some they will say it’s spiders or snakes or for me, at one time, I thought that my greatest fear was bridges.

But are these really our greatest fears? Or just something we are scared of?

My fear…My true, deep, dark fear that keeps me awake, is that nothing stands out.

My gripping fear is that one day, however many years from now, as I get ready to meet my maker,  I will look back on my life and discover that I was unremarkable.

I have spent some time recently trying to figure out my true self. Who am I? Who is Lynn? I am not there yet, I have a long way to go but I was clever enough to ask for help. Since reaching out, or in rather, to myself I  have discovered that the secret to a less fearful existence is to be happy. A simple solution to my sleepless nights. To be positive in the face of adversity and try to lift yourself and those around you. Ultimately, to be the happiest person that I know.

Always make a point of doing the things that you think you cannot do, especially in the face of fear. You will surprise yourself and trust me, this WILL lead to a remarkable life. Check back with me in 50 years and I will tell you tales of my life, which I lived on purpose, with passion, gratitude and laughter.

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” Marianne Williamson – Our Greatest Fear.

Choose wisely

I read a quote recently which said, “Life is a theatre – invite your audience carefully”

This spoke volumes to me. Not everyone will fit into the front row of our lives and this is ok, we need to accept this and continue on with the show.

I received some world class training from my mentor recently and she simply said to me. “let it go, just learn to let it go” Since hearing this, I have pondered the turn of phrase and tried to implement it into my daily life. You know what i learned, you can reach new heights when you stop holding onto what doesn’t serve you. This correlates into relationships as well. Think of the people you see every day, or the people you spend most of your time with. Colleagues, housemate, spouse, friend, children. Pay attention to these relationships. Which of these people are encouraging you and showing you your true self? Which of these people are putting you down, disregarding your feelings or telling you that you are bonkers?

As you seek personal development and spiritual growth, you will find it easier to see the cracks in the paintwork of your relationships and you will find it easier to determine your front row in the theatre of your life. This doesn’t mean you can’t love the people in the circle too.

Jim Rohn said it best when he said,

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”

This relates to the law of averages.

Entrepreneurs know all too well that in order to increase your wins, you must first increase your losses.

You cannot change the people around you but you certainly can change the people you choose to be around.

For me, I am hugely influenced by the people around me. They affect my self-esteem, the way I conduct myself and ultimately, they affect my decision making.

The people you spend the most time with can tear you down just as much as they can elevate you.

Ask yourself these questions.
1. What kind of person do I want to be?
2. Who are the five people I currently spend most time with?
3. Do these personalities match the type of person I want to become?
4. Who are the top five people I know of who embody the qualities I desire to have?
5. How can I increase contact with these people?